Eternal Love
by MissMaria01
Summary: This is a much different twist on Twilight.James succeeds in tearing the lovers apart BXE,But does it happen how you think?filled with drama,tragedy,and loves enduring promise.must read all the way through,there is always hope, dont stop if its a bit sad
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own the characters in this story. They belong to ****  
****the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.****  
****--****  
**

"**Eternal Love"****  
****Chapter one: Letter****s**

_Dearest Edward, __  
__You will be angry with me, I know. But I needed to leave Alice and Jasper; don't be angry with them, it wasn't their fault. He has Charlie. I refuse to sit and watch the people I care about to be hurt. Your family will not be hurt because of me anymore. I have to do this.__  
__I'll love you forever. Forgive me.__  
__Your Bella__  
_  
EdwardPOV  
I read her words over and over in my head. How could she be so absurd, our family was more than capable of dealing with this bastard, James? Always so selfless Bell, but this is one time I wish you had been a little selfish.

I couldn't just stand around here. I made a mental note to scold Alice later for

Letting Bella out of her sight, and proceeded to pick up her scent. It was difficult; of course her scent was all across Forks, and even stronger in her home.

I found a fresh trail leading to the forest. The forest. One place I made her promise to never go into alone. I called Carlisle to inform the family of what was happening. Apparently my sister Alice is a mess; she cannot understand how she missed Bella running away. The others wanted me to wait until they got there before I made any further moves, but I simply hung up and continued to follow her scent. How could they think I would sit around when she was in such peril? The trail was leading deep into the trees: this trail was very familiar. It was leading to our meadow. A gust of wind blew through the trail, and sent the most luring scent I had smelled in all my years. She was bleeding. I quickened my stride.

BellaPOV  
(One hour earlier)  
I was hurrying through the woods, fresh cuts all over my legs and the palms of my hands from when I had fallen. James sending me through the forest I must say wasn't his best idea considering my clumsiness, which was only intensified with my terror of what I was about to face.As I ran I thought of the events from the last few hours.

Alice and Jasper were babysitting me of course; Edward was on the road back from  
Seattle, where he was following a false lead on James. Charlie wasn't home yet. It wasn't like him to be late; he must have gone to La Push to see Billy I thought. I was restless just sitting there on the couch waiting for whatever maybe coming. I needed to get free of Alice's always-confident tone and Jasper continually filling the room with his calm presence. I told them I was going to my room for a nap.  
I lay on my bed for what seemed like hours but was only minutes. While  
staring around the room I noticed a piece of paper pasted to my computer screen. I picked it up and read.

_Dear Bella, __  
__Your bodyguards have been making it very difficult for us to meet. I __  
__suggest you find a way to leave them, undetected. I'm sure you've __  
__noticed by now how late your father is and, if you'd like to see __  
__him alive again you'll do what I say. If they follow, I will end his __  
__life immediately. __  
__In your desk drawer you will find a cell phone take it with you to the __  
__edge of the forest, and await my call.__  
__And Bella, don't keep me waiting.__  
__You're Friend, __  
__James__  
_  
My heart sank. Charlie. No. This needs to stop. I refuse to be the reason for the pain and death of all of those that I love. My thoughts drifted to Edward. This will pain him, but as much as it hurts me to leave him, I know what I need to do. It ends tonight. I left Edward a letter; maybe in time he will forgive me.

Leaving without Alice and jasper noticing would be a challenge; especially with Alice's excellent gift of seeing the future. I needed to make sure that every decision I made was spur of the moment, so she wouldn't see it coming. A long time ago Charlie invested in a rope ladder to escape my room through my bedroom window in case of emergency, and this was obviously one of those times. I threw on a hooded sweatshirt, threw the ladder out the window, and descended. As soon as my feet hit the ground I sprinted towards the forest, tripping of course as I did.

When I reached the edge of the trees the phone rang. It was his voice; disturbingly charming and somewhat playful, as if he were enjoying every moment.

"Hello, Bella…you wasted no time, this pleases me. This trail should be familiar to you correct?"

Yes I replied. "Then start moving, you know where to go. And Bella, don't keep Charlie waiting, he's dying to see you." _Click._

So here I am running through the trees towards my death. My death; at least I lived a life worth living. I died saving my father. I saved what would have been my family from possibly being hurt. And I had Edward; though our time together was short; the light he brought to my life and the love he has given me, is the strength I take with me to meet my doomed fate.

There is a break in the trees, and before I even step through the opening, a cold, white hand grasped my throat throwing me to the middle of _our_ meadow.  
--

That's my first chapter…but I'm a newbie to writing fanfics, so be gentle in your R&R. But seriously, I'd love to hear what you think.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer

Chapter 2: Bait

BellaPOV:

The cold drops of rain fell on my face, but even through the fog I could still see James' triumphant grin. "Where is Charlie?! Where is he James?" I asked. He just laughed at me; as if I missed the punch line in some hilarious joke. My fear was quickly turning into a mix of terror and frustration.

"Poor, sweet naïve Bella, Do you never think before you leap? Look around you, do you see Charlie anywhere? Chief Swan received an anonymous tip that took him to Port Angeles just before he left the station for the night. He was in such a rush, he must have forgotten to call and let you know, Bella."

Charlie was safe. It was a trap. You're a fool Bella Swan, your about to die, but at least no one else will be hurt.

"What are you waiting for then, James? You have me here, this is what you wanted; for me to fall into your trap!"

"Ah, but that's where you're mistaken sweet Bella. You are an insignificant human, I mean where's the challenge. Now dear Edward, I sensed his strength the moment he came to your defense that day in the clearing. You see Bella; I am a creature who loves a challenge. You are simply the bait, and Edward is an opponent I crave even more so than your tantalizingly warm blood. Of course after I kill your boyfriend, I'm sure to be starving."

I gasped. I spoke out loud in barely a whisper, "No, no, not Edward. He can't be hurt because of my mistake." Maybe he won't come. Perhaps he never found my letter, and Alice and Jasper simply assume that I'm still sleeping peacefully in my bedroom. Of course, I knew this wouldn't be the case. When I left the house, Edward couldn't have been more than an hour from Forks. He'd find my letter and pick up my trail at once. Tears fall down my cheeks; I had failed; now not only was I doomed, but possibly my Edward as well.

**This chapter is very short, originally ch.2 and 3 were one, but they read better separately.**

**Thanks for the few reviews; I hope I don't disappoint anyone with these next chapters ******


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer**.

**So I'm worried some of you won't enjoy where I'm taking the story in the coming chapters. But stick with me; I think it will still be good.**

Chapter 3: Challenge

EdwardPOV

I knew I was getting nearer to the meadow, not only because of the thousands of times I took this trail, but because I could smell the filthy son of a bitch, James now. If he harmed Bella in any way, there aren't words for the things I would do to that creature. The devil himself would look like a safer alternative to turn to for help.

Of course, I would have no one to blame but my self. Am I a worse monster than even James? I placed myself directly in Bella's life. A life of quiet, safe happiness was replaced with constant danger and fear. She deserved so much better than that. You are a selfish creature Edward Cullen.

If in fact I am too late to save her. Then my life is over, I left my heart and what was left of my soul with her. If she was gone I had nothing to live for, and I would not spend the rest of eternity with out my light, her touch, or warmth. No, if she is gone, then I shall soon follow after her.

I was yards from the edge of the meadow now, I could see Bella standing in the rain; she seemed tired and terrified but relatively unharmed. I would not hesitate. As soon as I spotted James, I sped forward lunging at his throat.

BellaPOV:

It happened so quickly, I had been standing there facing James; awaiting _our_ fate; when a flash of white streaked across the clearing knocking James to the ground. I could here loud, deep growling coming from both men, but in one I heard so much more rage, it sent terror down my spine. Not for myself, but for the realization that he had come to save me. And now he was in a fight to the death. Laurent had said that James had never once found a match he could not win…I shook the thought from my head. He will be fine, I repeated in my head.

It had been storming already, and as the fight continued it became more and more difficult to differentiate the sounds of thunder and the two vampires. Sounds of bones snapping, snarls, and bodies slamming to the ground emitted from the battle.

A flash of fiery red hair swooped past my line of vision, screaming to James. It was Victoria, the other vampire who had stayed by his side that day in the clearing.

"James finish this now! The others are not moments away, and the odds are not in our favor!"

She looked in my direction just then and smiled. "Perhaps your boyfriend needs a bit of distraction, sweet one."

I made a move to run, but before I could even turn her stone hands were around my neck and teeth cutting into my throat. I heard Edward scream my name in the distance, there was so much pain in his voice. It was replaced seconds later with the most disturbing howl of pain, I had ever heard in my life. "No!" I gasped.

I was slipping in and out of consciousness at this point. The burning fire of the venom being shot through my body was so much. As I drifted to sleep, I had one calming thought, in all the pain. At least we would be together.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer**.

**You guys have no idea how psyched I am that your reading my story, but I'd love to hear what you think so please review! (**

**Chapter 4: Too Late**

BellaPOV

I felt the burning washing over my entire body. It felt as if I was buried under a thousand hot coals, and I could not find the surface. I must have been gaining consciousness at this point. I opened my eyes and realized where I was, but none of this made any sense. Why was I not dead? How had I been brought to the Cullen's home? There would have been no one to stop Victoria once Edward had--

Then understanding swept over me like a slap in the face. He was gone. He was gone and it was my fault. I jerked and held my sides from a sudden rush of pain. Pain that was not caused by the venom being shot through my system, but because at that moment my heart was taken away, the best part of myself was gone. I was now a black hole. Nothing to live for; and now I had the rest of eternity to spend "alive" and with out my love. Why could I not have died along side him in that meadow, at least we would not be apart?

The pain of my change was easing; I could literally hear my heart slowing to a stop. And just like that the burning was gone, but the pain over the loss of Edward hit me again full force. If I could still cry, I knew I'd be on the floor falling apart and sobbing. I heard the door creek open; I didn't have to look up to know it was Alice. She embraced me in the hardest, most sorrowful hug she had ever given me. This was also different because her touch was no longer cold; it was if I was holding onto a normal person.

It was an odd feeling. I finally got what I wanted. To be a true part of the Cullen family. To be able to take care of myself, not a burden to them. But this was a future I only wanted to spend with my Edward. It hurt to think his name.

Would the others even want me around now? After all, I was the cause for the loss of their son and brother. If I had never came to Forks, he would never of met me. He'd be alive with his family; he'd be happy. Alice finally spoke.

"Bella, I am so sorry we didn't get there sooner. I should have seen James leave you that letter, if I had you never would have left the house, and he…" Her voice cracked, and she turned her head away from my gaze.

"Alice no, I had my mind set, I thought Charlie was in trouble, I would have found another way to go to him. This is no ones fault but my own, and I deserve any punishment that your family deems suitable. I will leave right this moment, and bring no more harm to your family, if that is what you want. I know I deserve far worse." She just stared at me incredulously, like I was speaking another language.

"Bella, you are the sole remaining piece that we have left of Edward," I winced at the sound of his name, "He loved you. You, Bella Swan, brought out the light in him that was hidden for over a century. No one doubts the happiness you brought to my brothers existence. And we do not blame you for anything. You are our sister for life now."

"But if it wasn't for me, he'd still be here, with your family, happy and-" She cut me off.

"I said this already Bella, there are those at fault, and you are far from being one of them."

"How do you feel, Bella? The change is complete, but your thurst must be unbearable. Since you're a newborn, and not sure how to hunt yet, I did went hunting for you, but just since its your first meal."

Alice left the room for a moment and brought back in with her a small doe. "it's a small meal but it will hold you until the night."

"Night?" I asked. "what day is it Alice? How long was I unconscious? Charlie! He must be sick with worry…"

"Drink now, build your strength, when you're finished the rest of the family is waiting downstairs to discuss our plans and answer all your questions."

I went to reply, but could not longer fight the thurst burning in my throat. Alice left the room. I pounced onto the doe, cutting into its throat, letting the warm blood flow, and I drank deep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story, they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer**.

**EVERYONE CHILL! Haha, yes I Killed Edward BUT, what kind of die hard fan would I be if I kept them apart forever…I have the whole plot running through my head, so I promise, promise it will be worth it to keep with me…so hold off on the mutiny (**

Chapter 5: loose ends

AlicePOV

Bella seems to be dealing with her change rather well, considering how it happened. My brother never wanted this life for her. He wanted her to live a full life, and have all the human experiences that we missed out on. Of course, I knew differently. I had seen Bella becoming my sister, and one of us. With one dramatic difference, Edward had been by her side.

I have trouble believing still that he is gone from our lives. None of us ever believed that one of us would fall. As a family we were an unbeatable force, with Edward as our keystone. Poor Bella, she will live with this guilt for the rest of her existence, she will never believe it wasn't her fault. I went down stairs to join the others. My family was strewn around the living room, all with solemn looks on their face. I hadn't been completely honest with Bella before when I told her that no one in the family blamed her for Edward's death. Rose wasn't exactly ever Bella's biggest fan; she always felt Bella was the cause of all our families' difficulties. Rose never realized the huge difference Bella made in Edward. She had better hold her tongue tonight; this is a sensitive time for us all.

The loss of Edward hit Esme the hardest. She had already lost one child in her mortal life, and now Edward. He was her oldest son. Carlisle sat with her cradling her in his arms. But the pain in Carlisle's eyes was a mix of disbelief and tradgedy. Edward had been Carlisle's first companion, the person he shared the intimate details of his life. Edward was his friend and son.

Bella was making her way down stairs to join the rest of us. She looked a mess; standing there clutching her sides. I could tell she was trying her best to compose herself for the families sake. It was her eyes that gave her away; they were blank, as if she was an empty shell. I knew time would not repair what Bella had lost.

BellaPOV

I entered the living room to join the rest of the Cullen's. I heard a slight rumble of a growl come from Rosalie, before she swept out of the room. That didn't make me feel anymore welcome. All I wished now was that I could still sleep. To sleep, dream of Edward, and never awaken is what I needed for now and forever. Esme beckoned me to sit by her side I followed, and was caught up in the most sorrowful embrace. "I am so sorry Bella" she choked out.

Carlisle spoke first, "Now that the family is all together, I'd like to take a moment in remembrance of our dearest Edward, my son and your big brother. Edward and I had many discussions on the afterlife for our kind. But I know in my heart, that his soul was at peace. Edward lived his life fighting the monster 

with in himself. I know that he is being rewarded now for the good man he was." Esme held my hand tight, she like myself was having difficulty keeping together after Carlisle's words.

Carlisle looked over to me and spoke, "Bella, I know you must have many questions about the past few days, I'll explain everything. After Edward called us telling of Charlie's abduction and your rescue effort, we left immediately. it was however difficult to pick up your exact trail; your scent is all over Forks. We arrived in the meadow to find Victoria killing you. Victoria used your death as a distraction; she knew Edward would loose his focus in the fight with James. When Edward turned towards you, James took the kill. I, Emmet, and Rosalie were on James with in seconds and disposed of him, but it was to late to save my son. Too much damage was done…" he trailed off, taking a moment to recompose himself, "Fortunately, Jasper and Alice were able to get Victoria off of you without moments to spare. A moment later and we would have lost you both."

My mind was whirling out of control. My mind flashed back to the meadow, I could hear Edward screaming for me, and then that last howl of pain. I readied myself to dart out the room, I couldn't hear anymore of this. I started to run out of the room, but slammed right into Emmet's stone wall of a chest. "There's more you need to know Bells, and you shouldn't be alone right now. You need to be with the family tonight." I reluctantly agreed and took my seat on the sofa next to Esme.

"What about Charlie? It's been four days; he must be out of his mind with worry." I asked Carlisle.

"As of right now, the town of Forks is on a search and rescue mission for Bella Swan and Edward Cullen. Charlie is of the understanding that you and Edward were hiking in the forest 4 days ago, and have yet to turn up." Carlisle replied.

"I don't understand…"

"Bella, we have to fake your deaths, for obvious reasons; you cannot go home again. With the state of Edward's..Remains, it won't be difficult to believe the two of you were attacked by a wild animal. We'll also need your clothes, to place nearby, since they're stained with your blood. After the funerals we are all leaving Forks. I know this is a lot to take in at once, but we have to move quickly. This is a sensitive situation, and your father deserves some sort of peace of mind."

I could only nod, no words would come out. My thoughts went to Charlie and Renee; how badly his was going to hurt them to think that I was attacked and killed. Which I was I guess technically, but in a different way. Poor Charlie would be on his own now. Who would take care of him? I have made such a horrible mess of every ones lives.

The meeting was over. Alice took my hand and led me upstairs to change. She gave me a clean outfit, and said I could change in Edward's room, since that's where I'd be staying until we leave Forks. I was not ready to go inside there yet, I wasn't completely sure that I was ready to deal with the memories and emotions with held in that room. I didn't have to explain to Alice, she was already leading me back to the guest room, I had awoken in earlier.

I changed quickly, and handed my old clothes to Alice.

I'm not sure how long exactly I lay on the bed, curled into a ball, holding my sides; but it had been days for sure. My thoughts were of Edward alone. I tortured myself by reliving our happiest moments together; knowing that no more would come. I'd never hear him speak my name, feel his touch on my skin, or have him take my breath away with a single kiss. I would give up my life right here and now, if it meant I could see that angelic face once more.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer. I do not own the lyrics from "Angel" they belong to Sara McLachlan**

**Thanks for the R&R's they're always exciting to get! So keep it up… D**

Chapter 6: In the Arms of an Angel

AlicePOV

It's been three days, and Bella hasn't come out of her room. I'm beginning to worry. Aside from thanking me when I bring her "meals", she hasn't said another word. She just lays there staring out her window. I can't keep bringing her meals either, she will need to learn to hunt soon, and otherwise I'm fearful for her first reaction to the scent of human blood. She needs you know how to sustain her thurst on her own.

Today are the funerals. Carlisle thinks it best if Bella stays at the house, and not watch. I agree, since she is a newborn vampire; we don't know how she will react to the humans attending. Still, I think it is important that she knows what is happening this afternoon. I enter her room, she hasn't moved.

"Bells, I don't mean to intrude; this is a difficult time for us all, so when you're ready to talk, we'll be waiting. You should know that the family won't be home this afternoon. The funerals are today."

She looked up at me with understanding, and nodded, resuming her gaze out the window once again. I left her alone, rejoined the family and we made our exit together; this was our first funeral, for obvious reasons.

BellaPOV

I knew I could not go to the funeral. Hiding and being unnoticed wouldn't be a problem, but it was the threat I posed to all my loved ones who would be there. I had yet to test my resistance to the human scent; and wasn't sure how I would react to being in such close proximity.

But to see my parents, one last time; to just look at their faces, would bring me some sort of closure to what I had lost. I needed to see for myself that they were going to be okay. I would have to try. I could not stay hidden in this room forever. I had fed not a few hours ago, so that should make a difference

Alice gave me some clothes to borrow until I got my new wardrobe eventually. I grabbed up the darkest garments and a pair of sunglasses, to hide my crimson eyes. I left the house for the first time in a week, and made my way down the drive way. I stayed in the woods along the road, following it until I was getting closer to town, I suppose now would be the best time as any to test my new speed. I darted across the street, heading towards the cemetery.

Traveling across town, there was the vilest stench flowing through the air. If I could still be sick, I may have vomited right there. This made no sense to me, I had just past dozens of humans, and not once did I have the urge to hurt anyone of them. I was so confused, but would figure that out later, right now I was quickly approaching the cemetery.

I stayed almost 50 yards away; I didn't need to be close up to see or here what was going on. My new senses equipped me to stay hidden, but view everything perfectly. Renee was there holding onto Phil, she was a wreak, thank god she had Phil to take care of her now. Alice sat next to Charlie; one because they were always so close, and two he had no one left since I was gone. But Charlie; He wasn't emitting any sign of emotions, he looked broken, and all the sparkle in his eyes was now gone. I could see now where I got my coping skills. Charlie looked like how I felt. Empty. How could I have done this to them?

I looked around the crowd, I saw mine and Edward's friends from school; Angela seemed sincerely heartbroken. She truly was a kind soul. I would miss her truly.

Billy Black and Jacob were sitting behind Charlie. Billy had his hand on Charlie's shoulder. I wondered what Billy thought of the stories of our deaths. Billy was a strong believer in the stories about the Cullen's, and never was a supporter of Edward and I being together. He didn't want me to get hurt; he knew what that would do to Charlie…

The sermon was coming to an end, and the song, "angel" was being played as the crowds dispersed from the grave site. I listened closely to the lyrics; how true the words held for me and how I was feeling.

_Spend all your time waiting  
For that second chance  
For a break that would make it okay  
There's always one reason  
To feel not good enough  
And its hard at the end of the day  
I need some distraction  
Oh beautiful release  
Memory seeps from my veins  
Let me be empty  
And weightless and maybe  
Ill find some peace tonight_

In the arms of an angel  
Fly away from here  
From this dark cold hotel room  
And the endlessness that you fear  
You are pulled from the wreckage  
Of your silent reverie  
You're in the arms of the angel  
May you find some comfort there

Except, there was no angel to hold me now; or bring me peace, that part of my life is over.

Esme and Charlie were the last to leave the graves; but it didn't take them long to walk away either. It was a mistake to come here... I felt no closure. There was no less guilt from seeing them. Nothing had changed.

Carlisle was behind me now; he approached slowly. For a few moments we just stood there staring down at the graves.

He spoke finally, "Bella, I know that it does not change the pain your feeling right now; the pain we're all feeling, but I truly believe that he is at peace. He would want you to seek some form of happiness from this hand you've been dealt. We love you, Bella. You are a daughter, to Esme and I. You are a Cullen now, forever."

Carlisle's words touched me, my pain was not lessened, but I had to keep moving. It's what Edward would want me to do. Though there would not be happiness or joy anymore. My new family needed me; I would use that to convince myself to hold on a little longer. I could not remain in this zombie state of mind.

I struggled but finally choked out words to Carlisle, if I could cry there would be waterfalls of tears flowing. I fell forward on my knees, and Carlisle held me until I was able to recompose myself. "Thank you and I love you all too, so much; I just miss him so. I don't know how to keep going on with out him here. I need you all; thank you for letting me into your family."

"Of course, my dear, we wouldn't have it any other way. But Bella, I do have one question."

I looked up, confused, "yes?"

"How is it you managed to retrain from slaughtering the entire funeral precession?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer. **

**Review! Review! Review! I need to know what everyone is thinking?! Good/Bad I can take it!**

Chapter 7: Compassion

BellaPOV

Carlisle lead me back to the car, and as we drove back to the house I explained how I made it into town, never once having the urge to hurt anyone. How all I could smell was this terrible stench, still flowing even now through the air. Carlisle didn't say anything; he was obviously deep in thought.

He spoke finally, "We are each reborn with rare and unique abilities. These special skills are most often related to a trait we held as human beings. In life Bella, you were selfless; you risked your own life to save the ones around you. You could not sit and watch people get hurt. It is my belief that your compassion for human life is part of your ability. Even as a vampire, where the instinct is always for human blood, you can not bring yourself to cause another pain."

I thought of what he said, it made sense in ways, and I would never second guess Carlisle's wisdom on all things vampire. One thing he said though caught my attention.

"You said that my compassion was part of my ability to not harm anyone; What else is there?"

He smiled before answering, "Bella, when you were human, you were quite sensitive to even the slightest scent of human blood, even your own, correct? The scent made you instantly nauseous and light headed."

I nodded seeing where he was going with this, "So you're saying that, that awful smell all around is the humans…ew." The stench would take some getting used to.

AlicePOV

The house was nearly packed up; we would be leaving first thing in the morning. I volunteered to pack my brothers belongings. I was almost through; his clothes, music collection, and books were all stored away. The last was Edward's chest; here he kept all his most valued possessions.

I took the chest and sat down on the leather couch. I opened it to find right on top a photograph of the entire family. Carlisle stood at the center with Edward to his right side with his arm around me. I still can't believe my brother is gone. I love Emmett, but Edward and I shared a much stronger bond. We were always so in sync with one another.

I kept rummaging through the chest; there were pictures of his birth mother and father, one of he and Carlisle from the 40's, and a single picture of Bella. At the bottom of the chest, I found a small box, I didn't have to open it to know what it held. (_Flashback_)

_I rushed in to Edward's bedroom and tackled him. I could not control the happiness I was having after having seen what I did in my last vision! "Oh Edward, I'm so happy for you and Bella! You must let me do all the planning," Edward looked at me confused._

"_Alice, could you please think one thing at a time? Your mind is a jumbled mess, and I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about."_

_I punched him in the arm, why was he playing dumb, "You, Edward Cullen, are planning to ask Bella to marry you! Two guess what she says!"_

_He laughed loudly and just shook his head at me, "I should have known better, there are never any secrets with you as a sister."_

"_Let me see it!" I asked, holding out my hand._

_Edward handed a small black velvet box, inside was the most beautiful ring. It was an antique, I could tell by how the stones were placed. The band was gold and built for the most petite of hands._

"_It was my mother's; I've kept it all these years. Will she like it, Alice? Or should I get her something new?"_

_I shook my head, "She will adore it, and it is perfect for the two of you. My vision wasn't clear on the timing, when are you popping the question?"_

_He replied, "As soon as I return from Seattle, once this business with James is finished."_

I was awoken from my trace by the sound of Carlisle's car; He must be home with Bella. I looked down at the ring again. He would want her to have it. So I took the velvet box out of the chest, and placed it in my pocket. I stowed the chest away inside the crate holding the rest of Edward's belongings. I left the room, closing the door behind me.

BellaPOV

Carlisle and I did some hunting before returning home. Even though he was quite certain about my immunity to human blood, we couldn't take any chances. We were leaving Forks tomorrow morning, and it would be a few days until we could hunt again. I went back upstairs to my room, but was afraid to be alone with myself. When I was with the rest of the family, I felt numb; they were a healthy distraction. I knew that behind closed doors, a fresh wave of pain and memories were awaiting me. I walked in my room to find Alice sitting on my bed with a look of mixed emotions her face. She seemed to be having an argument with in herself. She waved for me to come sit with her; I shut the door and followed.

"Bella, there is something I need to tell you, but I'm struggling because I don't want to cause you anymore pain. It's just I know he'd…" she trailed off, afraid to finish her sentence.

I grabbed her hand then spoke, "Alice, nothing you could tell me right now would worsen my pain. This hurt has no limitations, and I will carry it until the end of my days, however long that may take. So please, tell me what it is you need to say." She looked at me and sighed.

"Perhaps it is better if I show you." She reached into her sweater, and pulled out a small, velvet box. She handed it to me and continued to explain. "It belonged to his mother; well his birth mother. He was going to give this to you once he returned from Washington. I made him tell me everything, since I had already seen it in my vision."

"He loved you so much Bells, he kept that the entire time, and saving it for the time when he found the person he wanted to spend eternity with. He found you Bella. I just thought that he still would want you to have it. You were already his anyhow. I'm sorry if this wasn't the best time, but honest I don't think there ever will be a good time, I—"

I cut her off, and sent her a reassuring grin, "I'm glad you showed me this, but I need to get out of the house, there is somewhere I need to go now. Don't worry. I will be back before sun up." I kissed her on the cheek, and darted out the door.

I needed to hold myself together; there was somewhere I needed to go, and I can't fall apart now. So I ran. Ignoring the stench of humans, ignoring being spotted; there was no way the human eye could see me anyhow. I didn't stop until I reached the plot of freshly moved soil. There I collapsed to my knees; and finally let go. I released all the pain inside me and howled out in agony. As I lay in the soft soil, clutching the cold marble in one hand and the velvet box in the other; lost in memories and of the news I just received, the only words that would come out were, "it's not fair".

**This so far is really sad. But I am forever a girl who believes in love conquering all. Keep that in mind, while you curse me for killing off Edward, jk but seriously it will be okay. I'd be committing the greatest form of blasphemy by keeping those two kids apart (:**

**Ps. PLEASE Review I need to know what everyone is thinking thus far**.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

**Thanks for the reviews…I love hearing what everyone thinks, keep it up…please! (**

**Ps. this should be the last super, super sad chapter and its rather short; I just had to let Bella say "good-bye" before leaving Forks**

Chapter 8: Goodnight, My Love

BellaPOV

It was nearly dawn; I was still laying across the upturned soil. I had spent the entire night thinking and humming the lullaby he had written me. Silly me, thinking he would hear it maybe, wake up and come back to me. Impossible. I sat up finally out of the dirt, but still clutched the marble head stone, reading the words repeatedly in my head…

_I loving memory of_

_Edward Anthony Mason Cullen_

_Beloved Son, Brother, and Friend._

_Born 1988- Died 2005_

Friend. He was always so much more than my friend. Even, when I introduced him to people, I felt uncomfortable calling him my boyfriend. When I look at our short time together, having fallen so deeply for one another could not been a coincidence. Fate had brought me Edward. For the first time all night, I spoke out loud to him.

"Fate pulled us together my love; and in the end pulled us apart. Ironic; we really did end up like Romeo and Juliet, only my Romeo is gone, and I'm unable to follow. Alice gave me your mother's ring today, and told me of your intentions. Marriage was not something I ever considered until I met you, but we never needed a ceremony to make me yours forever," I opened the small box for the first time, and was not surprised at the beauty of the ring; it sparkled in the early morning sunrise. I took it out and placed it on my left hand.

"I love you Edward. You are forever my soul, my light, and my husband in all ways that matter. This ring will never leave my hand. I am yours for eternity and longer." I stood now, fighting against falling to pieces again. "Goodbye, my love". I turned away and sped back to the forest, my insides aching from the heartaches I was feeling.

I got back to the house, and everyone was in the cars ready to leave. I slipped into the backseat of the Mercedes next to Alice. I crawled into a ball, and lay my head on her lap. I closed my eyes and slipped into my sweet memories.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

**This chapter made a lot of sense in my head...I only hope it makes sense to you guys too, lol. Here Goes! R&R please! **

Chapter 9: Comfortably Numb

BellaPOV

I loved it in Alaska. The wilderness was not only beautiful, but great for hunting big game. I was disappointed that we had to move again, but like so many times before Carlisle was looking much to young to be pushing 33, and all the children were about to graduate again. I sighed; I would truly miss the peacefulness here. I'm currently in the process of tracking a large grizzly in the area. A slight competition between Emmett and me. I caught scent of its trail finally, but stopped. A large, mountain lion's scent crossed its path, and I lost my focus immediately.

This always happened to me, even now after nearly a Century, one reminder of him and I fall to mush. I tend to get to comfortable in my numbness around the family that I forget to block out painful memories. It hurts them all to see me fall apart still, so I try my best to hide it from them. It's a night time, when I'm alone, that I think of him most.

I pulled myself together with some difficulty, and went back to tracking the grizzly. I could sense Emmett was close too; to his annoyance he was no match for my speed. I pounced onto the grizzly's back; I wrestled with it for a while, just for sport, before tearing into its throat. I heard Emmett in the background, swearing loudly.

"C'mon brother, after 95 years, you should be quite used to losing to a girl."I couldn't help but laugh out loud at his defeated face.

"Oh come on Bells, stop you're gloating, the rest of the families waiting for us. Carlisle wants to discuss where we'll be living next."

"Fine," I said "But don't think I'll forget the new stereo you owe me now."

We ran back to the jeep, and sped off back towards the cabin. Once inside we were greeted by the entire family.

"Congratulations, Bella! We can go shopping first thing tomorrow for your new system. We'll just be needing your credit card Emmett." Alice said happily.

"Shut up Alice," Emmett pouted before slouching down on the sofa next to Rose.

"Don't worry darling, you'll get her next time," Rosalie looked up at me with a smile and winked. We had become much closer over the years. Not yet sisters, but friends perhaps, I knew she still had feelings of blame toward me for Edward. I don't completely disagree with her.

Carlisle spoke now addressing everyone, "Alright, as you know it's time we move on again. I know that it is unusual for us to hold this type of discssuion for our next location. However, we've used up most of our resources in the usual; cold, cloudy climates. I fear that if we return to one too soon, we may be discovered. Unless you all would be content living in Antarctica, eating penguins, I see no other alternative then to return to—"Alice cut him off.

"Are you sure this is a good idea Carlisle, our family has a lot of history there?" she looked up at me, avoiding my eyes. I must be missing something.

"It's been nearly a century; all who remember our names is long since past. The area is quite perfect for our needs, you all must agree." He looked to me now, and spoke gently.

"Bella, I know this move back will be tough; on you most of all, but perhaps being so close again will bring you some sort of closure, bring us all closure. I would never suggest it if I did not think it best for our family." I simply nodded, not sure exactly, how much of what he said I actually heard.

I was still trying to wrap my head around the fact that I was going…home… could I even handle that? It's true that I've been holding up better than can be expected, I enjoyed my days with the family, as much as I could enjoy. But the gaping hole in my chest was only held together with tape, I could come apart at any moment. It would hurt me and the family if I slipped back into the Zombie state I was in when we left Forks. Being back, so close to him, would resurface memories that I had buried deep. But if Carlisle thinks this is best, then who am I to argue. I told him that I was okay with the decision, and excused myself to my room. I needed to prepare myself. We were leaving at the end of the week.

_(Flash to Forks, Present Day)_

"_Hey, Ernie, take a look over there.", the man spoke aiming his flashlight in the direction of his friend._

_Ernie looked to the direction of the light and shrugged, "Bill, it was probably just some teenagers screwing around, just cover it back up, and finish your rounds."_

_Bill hesitated, "Are you sure we shouldn't report this Ern, don't want to lose my job you know?"_

"_Nah, this graves nearly a 100 years old, anyone that would of cared is long gone by now." Ernie said._

_Bill did what he was told and replaced the dirt into the gravesite, then walked away returning to his rounds._


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

Chapter 10: Lost Soul

EdwardPOV

I could not move. My eyes would not open. I was a prisoner in my own mind.

At first I believed, I'd been punished for all the crimes that occurred by my hand. Even though I knew I was hopeless when it came to redemption, I still held hope. Perhaps my good deeds in the latter part of my life would out weigh the past's mistakes. How absurd the thought, you were responsible for the death of the single most precious creature on the planet. I deserved my fate in hell.

For a long time my mind was set on repeat. Replaying the tragedies in the meadow, showing poor Bella's face, stricken with pain and terror. James was quite the advisory, I'd grant him that; the fight lasted much longer than I had expected. I was just about to move in for the kill, when I heard Victoria's thoughts, but before I could break free, she already had her teeth sunk into Bella's throat. I remember screaming her name, excruciating pain, then nothing but darkness. I wonder still whether it was my body being torn apart or the thought of Bella's death that caused me such agony. I had wanted so much to help her. Part of me held hope that somehow in death we could still be together. How foolish to think that such an angel could possibly end up in the same place as a monster.

For what seemed like eternity, my mind kept replaying that tragic memory for me; until at one point I could have sworn I smelt her breathtaking scent. _Impossible_, I thought. The devil is playing tricks with me, but just then I heard a familiar tune. It was her lullaby. She was humming it softly.

Ever since that moment, the horrible visions in my mind were replaced with a memory from better days. We were laying in our meadow, her head resting on my chest, humming her lullaby to herself. What had I done to deserve such a gracious pardon from hell? To be able to see her smiling, happy, and…alive…gave my body a sudden jolt.

I could feel everything in my body again, though I still couldn't move, it was as if seeing her reignited some deep strength in myself; to pull myself, quite literally back together. It was as if I had to earn the right to join her in heaven; there were no freebies. Find your strength, Cullen, to regain your soul.

Time passes differently in…actually… I'm not entirely sure where I am. A sort of limbo I guess neither heaven nor hell. Just a lost soul caught between worlds. I found peace in that I was trapped in sweet memories. But slowly, as time passed the numbness in my body began to fade, being replaced with a burning, tingling sensation. I took this as a sign that I was becoming closer to reaching her. I held on tighter to her memory, listened more intently on her song.

The slight burning turned quickly into a fiery blanket, encompassing my entire body. I could feel. For the first time since my death, I could feel pain. However as quickly as the pain came, it left just as soon.

My mouth cracked and I took my first gasp of air. My eyes flickered open, but I was still in the dark. I attempted to move, but my space was confined. I don't understand. Was this part of my challenge, to reach her; to pull myself out of the darkness?

I raised my arms, but was quickly halted by the feel of silk on my palms. I moved my hands all around me. This place was confined alright, I felt like I was laying in a cof—

No. This couldn't be right. Was I still in hell? A part of some elaborate trickery to lead me to believe I was earning my redemption? Or worse, was I still _alive? _Sent back to a different kind of hell; a world which held no Bella, only years upon years of loneliness, emptiness, and despair. Was my damaged soul not even worthy of hell? Sending me back to a place with no love, happiness, or light, no Bella; I suppose that this was the greater punishment to be given. So naïve you were to think you'd possibly join her in heaven. I would not return. I deserved this grave; this darkness. I'd remain here tortured with thirst and by sweet memories.

My mind turned directions for the first time. My family still thought me dead. I can't imagine the hurt I've caused them. Esme, she was my mother in all the ways that mattered. A vision of her dry sobbing, mournful face appeared in my mind. She had already lost one child, and now me and Bella. Then there was Carlisle; the father who truly did bring me to life again. I was his first listening ear to this life. He had chosen me as his friend and companion. Could I continue to abandon them both? Could I survive with even more guilt? My brothers and sisters would survive, I know they must be hurting terribly but at least they have each other for comfort. With the exception of Alice; true she did have Jasper; but the two of us were always very close. Perhaps because of our unique gifts in a way separated us from the rest of the family, and we found a common ground between us. She had loved Bella nearly as much as me. Alice was the first to support my involvement with Bella. They quickly became best friends, and soon after sisters.

Even though I deserve this fate, could I really let my family continue to hurt? If I know them, they are all probably placing blame on themselves. Alice especially; she would blame herself for not seeing anything coming in her visions. That wasn't fair to any of them; my fate and Bella's was my own doing. I would be the only one punished further.

I made the decision then to resurface and rejoin my family. They needed me; and I needed them if I was ever to survive this eternity with out Bella. I pushed up on the silk casing of the casket; I was startled at how weak I'd become. I'd fed on the way back from Seattle, but it felt like it had been years. My throat was burning furiously, and I could barely lift my limbs. My body must have drained most of its energy pulling myself back to whole. I paused to think; then it hit me, like before I needed to focus all my energy to the most powerful force I had. I began to picture my Bella, smiling sweetly and softly humming her lullaby. As I pushed upward the lead encasement began to pull apart; soon after I could hear the cedar frame of the casket breaking away as well. I reached upward through the now broken lid and felt the soil. It was solid. How was this possible? The dirt should be much looser than this. Pushing the thought from my head, I began digging; I knew that if I slowed down I would lose initiative, and I wasn't positive how much strength I could spare.

I finally was getting closer to the surface; I cold smell the cold, dampness in the air already. I exerted the last of my energy, and pushed forward the last half foot of earth. I climbed out into the night air and collapsed onto the cool grass. I needed to feed soon, I could barely move; it was then that I heard a small rustling somewhere in the distance. I didn't hesitate, and pounced onto the rabbit as soon as it got near. This creature was far too small to satisfy the burning in my throat, but it was enough that I could now stand.

I looked around me curious of my surroundings. I saw my headstone, but it was completely overgrown with grass, and stained from what must have been the constant rain here. For there to be so much grass I must have been gone for at least a few weeks. I looked around again and my heart sank. What ever strength I found to stand disappeared as I collapsed to my knees. She was right there. They had buried us next to one another.

"This shouldn't have been your fate my love. This stone should say 2070 not 2005, you should have had your life, a family, and happiness. I was selfish to ever enter your world. This is my fault Bella. I will spend the rest of my existence paying for my crimes. I love you, forever. Please forgive me."

I was interrupted by my thirst. The wind had blown the scent of a human nearby approaching. I fled into the forest for many reasons. One I refused to murder anyone, I would not disappoint Carlisle, and my will power would not fail me that easily. Two, I didn't have the patience to be accused of grave robbing, and most importantly, I was bare-ass naked. Couldn't my family at least bury me with a pair of pants?

I walked through the trees devouring even the most miniscule of woodland creatures; until I had enough strength to run. I needed to make it across town unseen for obvious reasons. I didn't slow down until I arrived at our winding driveway. The yard was overgrown with weeds; I could barely see the walkway. As I looked up, I couldn't believe my eyes. Our once beautiful, Victorian home, was now a shell of its former self. The paint was pealing, the porch was spray painted with obscenities, and the windows were boarded up. But worst of all there was no scent of my family in the slightest. This house has been vacant a very long time. How long exactly have I been…_dead_?

**Ok…this chapter is a little longer, but there was just so much going on in my head that I couldn't stop typing. Now I'm not practiced at writing in Edward's POV, I hope I did him justice. If not let me know, so I can fix him for future chapters. Oh, and if any of this chapter makes no sence, please tell me so I can explain. This means everyone must REVIEW, I'm not begging. Yea okay I am, they just mean so much to me. (:**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters in this story; they belong to the wonderful Stephanie Meyer.**

**Sorry it's been a few days, the semester is winding down, which means my school work is piling up, so updating might not be as quick as usual. I'm really glad everyone likes the story. I told you he'd be back!! D **

**PS. Please Review! Review! Review! I need to know what everyone is thinking?! Good/Bad I can take it!**

Chapter 11: Searching for Answers

EdwardPOV

I walked up the porch stairs, staring at the door. It was our house but I barely recognized it. Our once Grande Victorian home is now a empty, broken shell of its former self. I walked to the door, which was boarded up. I quickly pulled of the boards, turned the handle, and stepped inside my home for the first time in… I'm still not quite sure how long. I was shocked to see the inside. Other than a few broken windows, and the layers of dirt and dust, nothing had changed. Though our personal belongings were gone, some of the furniture remained, covered with white sheets.

There was no scent that identified any creature being in this house; human or vampire. I began to worry. I knew time passed differently when I was…dead, but could I really have been away for months? Even years? Impossible. Although, I'm still not exactly sure why I'm not still dead? When someone of our kind dies we burn their remains. I always thought it a supersticous habit to ensure that our enemies could not return. We all heard the legends of resurrecting from the grave ,but none of us ever bought into it. My family must have had me buried, rather than cremated because of the physical evidence it provided.

I started to search the house. Looking for some shred of evidence to where they may have moved onto. I found nothing. Tracking down my family would be difficult. I had no resources, no money, identification, or even clothes. Even though I disagree with theft, it looked like a necessary means. I wrapped a sheet around my waste and tied it securely. I hunted in the area once more before making my way into town.

Forks was still fast asleep, but I could tell by the sky beginning to lighten that it was nearly dawn. I spotted an old camping supplies store, it was once owned by Mike Newton's family, but now was renamed Hewitt's Supplies. I scanned the building for alarms or cameras. Apparently the crime rate hasn't risen in the time I've been gone because there were no alarms at all.

I easily broke the lock and turned the handle to enter the store. I walked to the clothes, grabbing a flannel button down shirt, and a pair of denim jeans. It seemed my only choice for footwear, was a bulky pair of hiking boots. I looked around the room, and found the backroom to the store. I really did hate stealing from people, especially small town business owners, but I had no choice. I would reimburse them as soon as I found my family. I spotted the safe in the corner, pulled off the door, and emptied it. I had about 600 dollars. That would be enough for now, if I need to forge the right paper work for 

identification, or to pay off the right people for information concerning the location of the family. I caught sight of the owner's desk. There were pictures of his family, receipts, invoices, and a desk calendar… It was May of the year 2100.

I collapsed to the ground. I'd been gone for 95 years. How could that be possible? No wonder the house was so abandoned, they had never returned, why would they I was dead. I needed to figure out my next move. I left the office, grabbed a backpack, and filled it with some spare clothes; I grabbed a one man tent as well. I didn't need these luxuries but they gave off the sense that I was a tourist passing through the area, that way people wouldn't ask questions.

Once I was finished at the store, I set off to the city hall. Perhaps, the family left some sort of forwarding address when they left. I knew better, whenever we left a town we never wanted to be tracked down, but it was worth a try.

I found our lease on the house; according to it we still owned the house and the land. They had never sold it. As I thought, there was no forwarding address given. While searching I found, mine and Bella's death certificates. I nearly collapsed from the pain that surged through my body at seeing her name. I shook my head, this shouldn't have been your future my love. You deserved so much more than this. So much more than a selfish monster intruding on you having a normal life. I swore loudly, wishing that I was still in hell, where I belonged.

For the first few days, I stayed in the old house during the daytime, planning out my next move. But after the first few days the memories became much to much to handle. So I took the tent and settled in the nearby woods. I'd been hunting larger game now, so I was nearly back to my full strength again. At nights I broke into homes, to use computers. I'd been doing searches on each member of my family but continued to come up empty. After the first few nights I became frustrated, and decided on a new strategy.

I would leave this weekend for Alaska to find Tanya and her family. They were another coven similar to our own. We always kept in close contact with their family, so I hoped they may know something about the others. I was almost positive that Tanya hadn't moved. Their secluded land was the perfect place to live a secluded existence.

I wouldn't return to this town again. There were too many painful memories here. Everywhere I looked I saw her face. I found it harder and harder to keeping going on when I was being crushed by so many painful thoughts. Perhaps, if I got away from this place, I could concentrate on finding the others. Though I knew the pain would never stifle, I had to keep going, for my family.

I had one last matter to close before I left Forks forever, I needed to visit her one last time, before saying good-bye forever. I packed up my camp, and made my way to the cemetery carrying a bouquet of wildflowers in my arms.

**I'm not sure how I feel about this Chapter yet, I had a lot of trouble writing it. It's really just some middle ground, so Edward could have a chance to catch up after being dead for 95 years. Next few chapters should be much more eventful, so please please stick with me. **

**Thanks to everyone whose reviewed! D **


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters; they belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

**I am really, really, really sorry! I know I am way past my deadline of Thursday! I didn't mean to keep you guys waiting….things have just been beyond hectic and stressed. However, I am done with school for the summer, so I will have plenty of time to update. **

**I want to send a thank you to my 5 loyal reviewers. If it weren't for you I don't think I'd keep writing this story, I haven't been getting much response from others review wise and it's a little disheartening. **

**On that note…here is chapter 12, enjoy and please review…They really are my inspiration to continue.**

Chapter 12: Memories

BellaPOV

Ugh…Did we honestly have to drive from Alaska all the way to Forks. I understand having to get our vehicles to the "new" house was a priority. Especially to 7 vampires who have a love for all things fast. It wasn't the driving that bothered me; it was the time. Time was dragging so much more slowly today. It was probably my imagination torturing me with the dread of returning there. Every mile we got closer, it was as if the hole inside me that Edward left was being ripped farther and farther apart.

I'd been hiding my heartache about our return home fairly well I think, with the exception of Jasper. There was no hiding your feelings where he was concerned. However, he'd in turn report back to Alice; who would then keep a very close eye on my future to make sure I wasn't planning on bolting on the family.

I could never do that to them. They were my rocks. The only things keeping me from crawling into a dark hole, and never opening my eyes again. I wouldn't have lasted these past 95 years without them. No, as much as the memories in Forks would hurt me; I had to keep moving for my family.

I awoke from my thoughts by a cool wave of calm filling my body. I opened my eyes to read a old sign:

_Welcome to Forks, Washington! Population 987._

I sighed, "Jasper, that really wasn't necessary."

"I didn't want to take any chance on you darting out on us. Your emotions were all over the place, Bells.", Jasper said concern ringing in his every word.

"I am fine. I promise. Don't worry about me." I tried flashing him a grin. He didn't seem convinced. I should have driven with Emmett, he is far less observant.

We made our way through the town. Nothing had changed. With the exception of some new store names and renovations. Forks still held that small town simplicity. Memories of Edward and I walking down main street, standing outside the high school ran through my mind like a projector.

We were quickly approaching the old cemetery. I wasn't prepared to visit there just yet. Even being so near shot pain through my entire body. Of course being the masochist that I am, I looked up out the car window as we passed. The scene hadn't changed,the field was filled with trees and green grass somewhat overgrown against the marble headstones. However, something in the distance caught my keen eyesight.

A tall, pale figure stood above a grave. He was male, I could tell by his build. His stance as he stood there is what struck home with me. He was slumped over gripping the stone in one hand and holding, what must have been flowers in the other. It looked as if he were saying goodbye to a lover. My silent heart wept for this man, for I knew what it is like to stand by the grave of your one and only, having to say goodbye.

Jasper must have alerted Alice to these mixed emotions because my attention was disrupted by Alice's tiny body jumping into the backseat, beaming with her never failing optimism.

"Oh Bella, I know this is tough, It's hard for everyone, but I really do think this was a good choice to comeback. I don't know why, but I can't help feeling that only good can come from this move. Plus," she said with a devious grin, "We can spend the whole weekend shopping! The old house is bound to need a makeover!"

I sighed and couldn't help but genuinely laugh, "Shopping…woohoo…you know how much I love to shop, Alice." I faked enthusiasm. Alice's face turned into a pout…

"A CENTURY Bella, A century, and after all this time, you still find no enjoyment in shopping with your poor sister!"

"It's not the company, Alice, it's the activity itself, that I can't stand. I love our sisterly bonding. You know that." I shot her a genuine smile filled with love. I think she accepted this smile, but not before informing me that we were still shopping this weekend. All weekend.

Alice had succeeded in distracting me. The car came to a stop, parked in front of the old house. "Old" being the right word. The once beautiful, bright Victorian home was a wreck! Windows were broken, paint was peeling, it was vandalized with graffiti, and porch seemed to be collapsing in.

I spoke first, "Alice, you weren't kidding when you said the house would need a makeover!"

The seven of us walked forward, as a family towards our home, for the first time in 95 years. I can do this I thought to myself. Just then my right hand was gripped by my brother, sending a wave of confidence and calm through me. I smiled at Jasper, not needing to say anything. He knew how thankful I was to have him. To have to whole family with me now.

**That's chapter 12...I hope you like it…Ch. 13 is in progress and should be up tomorrow night. **

**Please, Please review…almost 200 people read Chapter 11, but only 5 reviewed…I'm beginning to think you guys don't like the story…sigh…Tell me either way…I love hearing what everyone thinks.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters; they belong to the wonderful Stephenie Meyer.**

Chapter 13: Reawakening

BellaPOV

As we approached the house no one spoke. I think everyone was taking in the sights on their own. Carlisle reached for the front door handle, but stiffened. "Someone has been here quite recently; one of us, the scent is quite weak. Whoever it was did not stay long." Carlisle said.

Esme spoke next, "Is it anyone we know? Or should we be concerned?"

Carlisle shook his head, "The scent is slightly familiar. Alice. Do you see any visitors coming our way?"

We all looked at Alice for reassurance while she was in her trance like state. She opened her eyes and smiled, "all clear!"

Out of pure curiosity I breathed deep, searching for the scent of the strange creature. But just as soon as the scent reached my nose, I was knocked to the grown by a surge of pain through my entire body. Every memory. Every emotion. Everything that I have been repressing for all these years hit me all at once. It was as if I were in the middle of a sea of emotions drowning. Edward's beautiful face was floating all around me.

I felt myself being lifted up into a large pair of stone arms and laid onto a soft surface. I lay, writhing in pain. I could not open my eyes, even though I could hear the pleading voices of my family, I couldn't answer them. This would pass. This is only happening because you're back in this damn town.

Being inside the house made the strangers scent that much stronger and the hole I spent so much effort holding together, ripped apart as wide as it was 95 years ago. This scent. Why was this stranger's scent affecting me so much? It smelled cold but warm also. I mean is it actually possible for something to smell cold? It smells like snowfall on a mountain surface just before sunrise, so there is warmth in the air as well as the cold. There is an odd familiarity to this scent. Even though I am going through the worst pain imaginable, at the same time it's comforting. I'm feeling again for the first time in years. Living these memories, this lingering scent, makes me feel closer to my Edward.

Could it be possible that this stranger's scent belongs to Edward? That his scent and presence lingers here still, after a century? Or was he here recently? Carlisle said that the stranger was here not too long ago. That thought forced me to awaken to my family. They could tell me. They of all people would recognize Edward's Scent.

"Carlisle? It's him, isn't it? He was here?"

"Bella dear, who are you talking about? Who is _he_? ", concern rang through Carlisle's voice.

I began to feel frustrated. They must recognize the strangers scent by now. Why were they not feeling what I was? "Edward! He was here I know it. I can still feel his presence!"

"Bells that is impossible. Edward is gone. You know that. It's probably just the memories in this old house playing tricks on you. There are similarities in this strangers scent to Edward's I cannot deny, but it's not the same. I would recognize my son. I promise you." Carlisle said.

Alice grabbed for my hand, but flinched back. I needed to think. I needed to find him. Everything they were saying was true. It was impossible. But every part of my body and soul that has been dead for the past century reawakened when we came back to this town. There must be some explanation for this.

"I need to go," I said in the calmest voice I could. "Just to get a clear perspective on things. I'll be back in a few hours to help set up."I looked up at my family and tried to flash my most convincing smile. It was useless. Worry was painted across all their faces. I left the house before any of them could talk me out of leaving, but I knew at least one would follow.

I started by picking up the strangers trail. I needed to see where this scent leaded me. The odd s of this being my love were against me, I knew this, but I would have no rest until I was sure.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: I'm Sorry. I Don't Deserve Any Forgiveness From You Guys, lol. hangs head in shame

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story; I'm simply borrowing them from Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter 14: Embrace

EdwardPOV:

I took my time walking to the cemetery. I ventured through the main streets of town for no other reason than nostalgia really. This is where we spent our precious moments together. Hand in hand. Though Bella hated it. She thought our walks together caused far too much attention on us. I simply loved showing off the most amazing creature in the world and showing off the fact that _she_ chose _me._

She never should have chosen me. I never should have been a blip on her radar. Had I stayed in the shadows and fought my selfish love for her. She could have lived a long life; gone to college, met a man who could truly hold her in a strong embrace with out fear of crushing her. That man could have given her children (AN: a little breaking dawn irony). And once they were old and grey, they could have truly passed away together, with a lifetime fulfilled. These were things I never would have been able to give her. I took away those chances.

I was nearly at the gravesites, I could tell because my insides felt like they were being torn apart. The pain grew stronger the closer I got to the plot where she lay. I looked up and saw the field of old, worn tomb stones. Our pair was easy enough to spot upon a small hill.

I laid down on the soil in front of Bella's stone, closed my eyes, and hummed her lullaby one last time…

Why can't I bring myself to leave? I've said my goodbyes and begged for the forgiveness I know I do not deserve. Am I waiting for a response or some sort of sign? Ridiculous. You are alone here, Edward. She is gone forever, and you have no one to blame but yourself.

I laid the flowers down beside the grave and cleared away some of the weeds and debris. I tried walking away but, it was as if I were cemented in this spot.

There is nothing keeping me here. A rental car is waiting in town to take me to Alaska and someday reunite me with the family who needs me. Bella is…dead. There is no changing that fact. She is in a place now, where no monster such as my self can hurt her again.

I bent down and, kissed the earth below my feet, and whispered my last few words I would ever utter in regards to my Bella, for even breathing her name awoke the pain and rage of losing her to the fullest extent.

_I love you, my sweet Bella. For eternity and longer, I will love only you_.

My privacy was startled then with a rustling coming from along the tree line, followed by the faintest whisper. If I had been human, I probably wouldn't have heard it at all.

"I love you too."

BellaPOV

I was struck frozen in my footsteps…

The empty hole inside of me felt shallow no longer, but quite the opposite. I was overflowing with happiness and disbelief. There was no aching pain inside me. No, that feeling was replaced with the aching to run across this field and hold that angelic form in my hands to prove that I was not delusional. But I couldn't move. I don't know if I was in shock, or afraid. What if he blamed me for what happened to him? For taking him away from his family. After all, if I had stayed put like I was told this would never have happened. He would never have been lured into James's trap because of me. What horrors has he suffered by my hand?

It was then that I heard him speak for the first time in 95 long years. The pure ecstasy of his sweet, smooth voice reawakened my soul.

"I love you, my sweet Bella. For eternity and longer, I will love only you."

As if my body had a mind of it's own, and it was being drawn to his very presence, I moved forward out of the brush. Barely being able to gasp out the words, I responded to him, _I love you too..._


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15: Test**

EdwardPOV

_I love you too._

I looked up, and saw standing in the far away clearing at the foot of the forest the most beautiful creature in the world. If I were human I may have fainted from the out burst of emotions the circulated my entire body. I wanted to cry. She looked exquisite; a century could not change the effect her image had on my body and mind. The moonlight was cascading off of her, shimmering on her skin and highlighting her thick, chocolate brown hair. She was an angel.

"_Edward_", she said in a whisper moving forward and reaching her hand out towards me. Oh her voice rang though my dead heart warming it to its core. My loves voice was like bells, and it was pleading with me to take her in my arms. To prove that it truly was me that stood before her. But my head and heart battled for control. While my heart and body pained to be near her, my mind knew better. My heart would not win this fight, and the pain returned once again.

I did the only thing that made sense. I turned and ran.

This was a test. A test I failed so long ago. I would stay away from my angel this time. Not corrupt her life with pain and fear. _Am I still in that purgatory? _Presenting me with this illusion of my loves spirit at peace; was god waiting for me to run towards her and take her again like the selfish animal I was, then throw me back into hell for failing to ignore my own greed and needs once again?

Perhaps Bella was saying her final goodbye to me as well; showing me that she did find peace. I could see the joy in her face, but also the regret. She loved me, I knew this, but that was only because she never saw me for what I truly was: A selfish monster. That selfish monster wanted to hold her and never let go. Keep her with me always. I wanted to beg her forgiveness, and then lavish her with kisses that would never end. No. I would no keep her from her peaceful life. I would not take that away from her. She deserved peace.

I could walk away this time. I learned my lesson. I deserve a life with out my Bella, and I will not be the devil which darkens her light in heaven. I took a final look back towards the clearing, and it was empty. She had returned to paradise. She would understand why I left her there. Where she lived now monsters could not walk free. I had done the right thing for once. I would find the Denali coven in Alaska and reunite myself with my family. I needed to heal the pain I left them with.

I found my rental car, took one final look at Forks, and drove north. I did not look back this time, nor would I ever again.

BellaPOV

He was looking at me finally, but I could not understand his expression. I saw the recollection in his eyes and the joy, but it was quickly being clouded over with sadness and indecision. Of course the shock of seeing me after all these years must be a lot to grasp. Was he sad because he remembers what I did to him? What I had done to us by falling for James' trap? If it took me a thousand years I would earn his forgiveness. He was so close I could smell every bit of his cool scent; it was encasing all my senses. I needed to hold him. I wanted—no needed to trace every contour of the beautiful form that stood mere yards away from me. Was he yearning for me, as I was for him? Why did he not rush forward and whisk me away in his arms like he had all those years ago. I could sense that Jasper and Alice were close by waiting; giving us this time I assume.

I could not take it anymore I had to have him. I took a step forward, reaching out, and for the first time in 95 years spoke his name out loud with out pain taking over my body. Instead I was rewarded with a relief, knowing he was alive took a weight off of me. _Edward…_

I saw it then again, the sparkle of love in his eyes, but he looked conflicted. I looked down at my hands. Was I that unforgivable that he could not even speak to me? I had heard him before; he said he loved me still! I suppose it's possible to love a person, but not be able to be with that person. I had wronged him horribly. I took him away from his family, from his life. God only knows the hell he has been through. I would help him. I would try with all my power to set things right. I looked up again to speak once more, but he was gone. I could see him in the far distance fleeing, and not looking back.

Like a tidal wave, it hit me all at once; the guilt, the regret, the pain, and the loss. It crippled me. No vampire strength could battle the pain that was overcoming me now. He had left. He did not want me. I felt the air sweeping underneath me as I collapsed to the ground. Two stone arms wrapped around me and carried me away back into the darkness of the forest.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Placeholder**

**BellaPOV**

August.

September.

October.

November.

Four months. It's been four months since I fed. Four months since I spoke. Four months since I even moved a muscle. It has been four months since I lost _him_…again. My vampire body has slipped into a coma like state. I know my family is around; I can hear them trying to find some sort of response out of me. They are worried; last time I snapped out of my zombie state not only sooner, but on my own. This time was different. I lost Edward before because he was taken away. I lost him now because he did not want me. And I could not blame him…

The family was arguing outside the room I was in… I honestly did not know where I was. I heard someone burst through the doors, pick me up roughly and swiftly, and then all I could feel was the wind in my face. I did not even resist or look to see who was holding me. What did it matter? Suddenly we stopped. I could feel my self falling, and was suddenly plunged into water!

"What the hell!!" I screamed.

**EdwardPOV**

I am sitting here in a cabin in the middle of a forest wondering why? Why do I stay here? The company? God, I surely hope I am not that desperate for the conversation.

I have been staying with Tanya's coven in Denali for the past four months. When I arrived they were shocked to say the least.

_(Flash back 4 months)_

_I stood out in the snow puzzled for a good 20 minutes. I wanted to hear their thoughts so I could get a feel for what I would be walking into. But I could not hear anything. I knew they were in the house I could smell them and hear their external voices. I mean Tanya was always a little…Dull but she would at least have some small trivial thoughts going on. I thought about it..back in Forks I had so little contact with the humans that I did not even notice that I wasn't hearing their thoughts either. _

_They must sense me now; I can hear three sets of quiet footsteps coming to greet their intruder._

"_Who's out there? Come out now! We know your there, and I will not hesitate to attack first, identify later." Tanya's fierce voice threatened._

Calm down ladies, it's just an old friend I mean no harm or disrespect _I said as I stepped out of the shadows. I was greeted with a series of gasps._

"_Edward? Is that really you? How-"Kate said her voice trailing off._

I am not entirely sure of the 'How' to tell you the truth. I have my theories, but I would need to speak to my father for his thoughts to be sure. May I come inside so we can all catch up, perhaps you can fill me in on the past 95 years? _I tried flashing them my most charming of smiles. Getting information is a lot harder to do when you cannot read minds._

_Kate and Irina excused themselves from the visit. They had been traveling for the past few weeks and not hunted in quite a while. Kate gave me a swift hug before heading out into the vast wilderness. _

"_So Edward love, what brings you to our home? I would have assumed you would have run straight to your dear—"I cut her off before she could finish, Tanya had the habit of being long winded and I really was anxious to find the family._

I am here for your assistance; I have no way of getting in touch with my family. I was hoping that you could point me in the right direction? I assume they still keep in communication with you and your sisters.

_She did not say anything for a good minute! It is the most frustrating thing in the world not hearing her thoughts when I needed this information so vitally._

_She finally spoke looking up at me, "Well Edward, the truth is we have not seen your _entire_ family for a good many years. You see after you well…died…they all went their separate ways. Each couple pursuing their own lives with each other. Carlisle and Esme were living in your families cabin a mile or so down from us a few months ago. The family is good. Jasper and Alice are living in London, Rosalie and Emmett are celebrating another honeymoon on an island in the Mediterranean, and your parents are living in New England somewhere."_

_(End flashback)_

So here I sit alone in the family cabin. I stayed with Tanya's family for a few weeks, but much to her dismay I decided it would be better if I had my own space. That does not stop Tanya from making advances, all these years and she still has not caught on. As my strength grows, I've been hearing whispers of thoughts. Nothing substantial, but in time I'm hoping to back to full power.

I decided not to seek out my family. The purpose of my finding them was to heal the pain I caused, but it seems utterly unnecessary. I want them to be happy. And they are. My presence would only hurt that happiness. I am not the same Edward they knew. I do not feel anything. Without _her_ life means nothing.

So for now I stay here with this new coven: a placeholder for my old life.

**TanyaPOV**

I really think he is warming up to me. Not to much longer and I am sure their will be wedding bells in the air. Edward and I are meant to be mates for eternity. That's why I told him that little fib about the Cullen's. It's for his own good really. That Bella, even if she is one of us now, is not good enough for someone of Edward's caliber. She is weak and timid. He needs someone strong and a fighter. Someone like myself, who is worthy of a man like Edward.

I do feel sorry for the rest of the Cullen's though, they do miss Edward dearly. There has not been a visit once where he was not mentioned. Perhaps a few years after we are married, and all thoughts of that…weakling…are out of his mind, then we can reunite with his family. Maybe.

Until that day comes my sisters are keeping their mouths shut, they aren't happy with lying to Edward, but loyalty to our coven always comes first. Edward no longer being able to hear our thoughts is making keeping this secret even easier.

**BellaPOV**

I stood up knee deep in an icy pond soaked head to toe. I looked up ready to pounce on my attacker. But when I looked up I saw my big brother sitting on the ground with his hands over his face.

_Oh, no, Emmett. I'm sorry I yelled like that. Please don't be upset. I'm not angry anymore._ I was weak. Even speaking was a strain. But then Emmett did something I never thought possible.

He yelled at me. I took a second to look at him. His eyes were black, skin was lighter than usual, and the purple under his eyes were much deeper. There was no childlike joy in Emmett's eyes like I was used to seeing.

"WELL THEN BELLA IF YOUR NOT ANGRY ANYMORE THAN I AM JUST GOING TO KEEP THROWING YOU IN THE WATER. BECAUSE THAT WAS THE FIRST SIGN OF LIFE I HAVE SEEN IN YOU FOR 4 MONTHS. YOU ARE TEARING THE FAMILY APART. YOU SHOULD SEE ESME! SHE'S A RECK! AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST OF IT. ALICE LEFT WITH JASPER. SHE'S BLAMING HER SELF FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN! WAKE UP, BELLS. Please…please Bella…" he trailed of put his hands back over his face and began shaking with sobs again.

I waded out of the water and crawled over to my brother. I began dry sobbing as well.

_What have I done? I'm so sorry. I'll fix this, I promise. _I spoke out loud before being pulled into a bear hug by Emmett.

AN: Uh oh Tanya…What's Eddie going to do if his powers come back? Oh snap!

Please review..please!


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Closer

_5 years later…._

Edward POV

_I am going to take you apart limb from limb you lying, conniving, evil bi—_

"Edward, please, I thought it was best for you reall—" I cut her off before she could continue spitting out her poisonous lies.

_I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR IT _I roared. I stopped pinching the bridge of my nose, trying to calm down.

_Tanya. I am leaving now. I will find her. And after I do, I promise you this I will make it my very purpose in life to create a hell on earth for you to live in if you EVER interfere in mine or Bella's lives again. Understood?_

I did not wait for a response I flew out the doors, got in my Volvo, and drove off to find my Bella_. She's alive, _is all I could think as I drove south back to a town that I promised to never return.

BellaPOV

I hated London. So much that I would trade a lifetime of daily shopping trips if we could simply live somewhere else. I was still in my coma state when we moved from Forks. Apparently there was too much gossip about the MIA daughter who never left the house. So we moved to London, where there were so many people that we easily could blend in with the population.

After my incident with Emmett in the pond, I left that night to find Alice and Jasper in Rome.

(Flashback 5 years)

"_Come in Bella" Jasper greeted me at the door of their loft in Rome. He seemed relieved to see me, but there was so much strain in his smile._

Where is she? _I asked._

"_In the bedroom. I should warn you she is not the old Alice anymore. She has consumed herself with trying to find my ass of a brother!" I cringed at the mention of Edward._

_I walked into the bedroom and there sitting in a rocker in the corner was Alice. Jasper was right. She was wearing sweat pants and an "I 3 New York" T-shirt. __**(AN: I'm sorry, lol. Sometimes this story gets so serious that I need to lighten it up a bit. Oh and that's what I'm wearing right now. If you were thinking the outfit was a bit random.) **__I walked closer. She hadn't even acknowledged my presence in the room. I bent down by her side and laid my head on her lap._

Please Alice, snap out of it. I need you. I need my sister right now. The family needs you. _I pleaded softly looking up to her vacant eyes._

"_I cannot find him! I can't fix anything until I can find him! I do not understand why I can't see him; it is as if he came back to life with a mental block or something. It is so frustrating, Bella… knowing that you are the only hope of restoring life as it should be, but being helpless…" she said beginning to sob into my shoulder._

Alice, it's okay now. Emmett snapped me out of it. We can be a family again like before he—listen just come home with me. Esme misses you so much, so does Carlisle. _I hoped that the mention of the family would soften her up._

_But instead she just looked up at me like I was crazy, "We can be a family again? You are okay now? Really, Bella? When was the last time you were actually okay?! I'll tell you when! The day in the baseball field and we met James. Had I been paying attention, we could have gotten you out of there sooner, and James would have never even known you existed. Would you like to know how life would have gone? Edward did not want you to know this, but it's rather irrelevant now. You would have graduated. Edward would have given you that gorgeous ring, not me, and you would have been married in the meadow. Soon after, the decision would of been made to change you. Everyone would have been happy."_

Alice, I really don't know how talking about this proves anything_—but she cut me off._

"_It proves that everything has gone terribly wrong over the years because of me! Me missing key visions! I missed you going after James! I missed Edward dying, and then coming back to life. I missed him leaving… and I cannot see him now… "She put her hands on the sides of her head pulling at her hair out of frustration._

I really am doing better, I mean it. I wouldn't be standing here if I weren't, Alice_. I was shaking her at this point. _

"_It's a show, Bella. You put on a strong face for the family. But we hear you at night crying out for him. You're a shell of yourself. You can be whole again. I'm going to fix things."_

_She stood up then, hugged me, looked at herself in the mirror, and ran into her closet. She returned looking like a rock star, and we flew back to our family in London._

_(End Flashback)_

So here I sit. Five years later, and Alice is still looking for _him, _but I told her when she does I should probably leave indefinitely. They shouldn't be deprived of seeing their brother and son any longer because of me. He may not love me anymore, but I know he cares deeply for his family.

It was with this realization that I broke a promise.

(flashback)

_I opened the small box for the first time, and was not surprised at the beauty of the ring; it sparkled in the early morning sunrise. I took it out and placed it on my left hand._

"_I love you Edward. You are forever my soul, my light, and my husband in all ways that matter. This ring will never leave my hand. I am yours for eternity and longer."_

_(End flashback)_

I will love Edward for all of eternity, but I do not feel right wearing his mothers ring anymore. All these memories were blinding me. I had to do this before I lost control. There would be a time to breakdown from the pain, but the family would not see.

So I break my promise, and removed the beautiful band from my left hand. Holding my side I walked to Alice's room and placed it on her nightstand. No explanations were necessary. I'm sure she already saw this happening. I went back to my room to let the go of the pain that was struggling to overcome me, but just as I let myself collapse, someone burst into me bedroom, yelling my name.

AN: Oh? Who could it be?

How happy are you guys with me? 3 chapters in one evening!! Now show me some love in the lower left hand corner, click on submit a review, and tell me what you think (


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: Waiting

EdwardPOV

When I arrived in Forks a few days ago, I was startled about how quiet the townsfolk were being. When I say quiet, I mean they were not thinking anything. I did not have that buzzing in the background of my mind any longer. At first, I was worried that I had lost my powers once again, after only just gaining them back to learn of Tanya's treachery.

When I arrived at the old house, it was empty again, they must have moved on. Though this time there must be those who would remember my family and possibly point me in their direction. I went to the hospital, perhaps someone in the human resources department still had a information on file about Carlisle and if he transferred somewhere. I approached the desk and there was a stern looking, middle aged woman glaring at me.

"Can I help you?" she asked accusingly.

_Yes I was hoping to get some information on an old friend of mine. He worked at this hospital a while back; I was hoping he left a forwarding address, perhaps_? I flashed my smile, hoping this would cause her to lighten up a bit.

"Sir, all employee and past employee files are kept confidential. I'm afraid I cannot help you." and she went right back to working, ignoring that I was still there. I concentrated fiercely; I needed to hear her thoughts.

"_Cocky college boys, thinking that their charm and good looks will get them what they want! Hah! They don't know they're messing with, Agnus T. Wherry. Now maybe if he was some hot young sorority gal, that'd be a different story."_

Ew. Wow where was Rosalie when I needed her. Wait I can hear her thoughts now. Maybe my powers have evolved, if I concentrate, maybe I can single out specific thoughts I want to hear. I'll test this theory later on. I just need her to think of Carlisle, and maybe she will send me some sort of clue with her thoughts.

_Excuse me again, Agnus, is it? I've been seeking out Mr. Cullen for many years now. I have information of vital importance; it has to do with a family member of his._ It was not exactly a lie, and it was enough to get all the information I needed. Her mind began to flood with memories.

"Poor dear…only a here a few months before he had to leave…daughter slipped in to coma… had to leave for London to see the specialists. (Sighs) He was a good man, and had such a lovely wife.."

"Young man, I see your predicament, but you must see mine as well, I will lose my job if I give you those records. Perhaps you should just wait for Mr. Cullen to contact you." she went back to work again, sympathy for my family strewn through her thoughts.

I left the hospital, and headed back to the house. I needed to let the information I just received soak in. I climbed the staircase to my old bedroom and stared out of the aged glass window. They left because their daughter slipped into coma? Could that be Bella?

And then it hit me. She must feel so rejected. She was right there in front of me; waiting for me to embrace her. I ran away, and left her alone again. Ah what an idiot I am! She was right there, and I thought I was hallucinating! I needed to fix things, convince her to forgive me for being such a fool.

But what now, I could go to London and continue to chase her in circles, or I could follow Agnus' advice and wait. Wait for them to find me. I would not leave this bedroom. In my heart, I knew she would find me. We will be together again.

AlicePOV

I'm getting closer. The images are becoming clearer by the day. People have seen our Edward. A few months ago, I took a new approach to seeing Edward. For years, I have been pushing my self to find his decisions, where he was going. Carlisle has his theories that Edward came back to life with a mental block; he quite possibly may even have new abilities. However, we won't know for sure until we find him. I tried next to peer through Bella's future. If Edward was in it, then I would know that there was hope. But Bella is stubborn. She is certain of her future, and that Edward and she do not have one. She doesn't believe he loves her, and though his actions do support the possibility. My heart cannot fathom a world in which Edward did not love Bella.

So eventually I gave up looking through Bella's future. It hit me a few weeks ago, that I needed to broaden my search. I have spent day and night searching for any decisions involving Edward. It's slowly started working; I began getting glimpses of him staring off out of a window. He looked so lonely, yet someone was watching him, so I knew he was not completely alone. This process has been slow. It takes a lot of strength out of me. I actually get migraines when I try to hard. But Jasper soothes me, he misses the old me I think, but he knows things wont be right until I find our brother.

Then tonight I was just lying here, not even attempting to look for the future when a vision came to me…

_It was in the wilderness, three women stood in the wilderness staring at each other. Tanya was_ _struggling to get out of Irina's vice grip on her arms, while Kate tried to reason with Tanya._

"_He left! Deal with it, Tanya. How do you think he was going to react once he found out of your betrayal-- of all of our betrayal? Let him go!" Kate said._

"_Let him go? After all my hard work these past 5 years you want me to just sit by and not follow- let him seek out that pathetic excuse for an immortal?!" Tanya screeched._

"_Yes." Kate said plainly shrugging her shoulders, "He does not love you, sister. I sat watching him over the years, suffering because he still believed she was dead. He loves Bella, and only Bella. Why else would he have gone back for her? If you try and go after him, I will stop you."_

_It was then that Tanya leaped out of her sister's arms and fled for the forest. Kate was quicker, pounced on her sister, and pinned her to the ground. "It's time to move on, dear sister. Let's go for a trip? There are plenty of eligible men out there ripe for the taking!" Tanya nodded, _and my vision changed_…_

_An older woman sat contemplating what to say; when she looked up I saw Edward's face. It was full of frustration and lacking in patience._

"_Young man, I see your predicament, but you must see mine as well, I will lose my job if I give you those records. Perhaps you should just wait for Mr. Cullen to contact you." the woman looked down at her files for Forks Hospital._

HE WENT BACK! He's home! I found him! He thought she was still dead? That doesn't make sense I mean he did see her didn't he? Oh, I have to tell Bella! Wait..

_Bella taking off her ring and placing it in my room._

Oh no she doesn't, not after what I just found out. I ran upstairs, burst through Bella's door, screaming her name.

"Bella!" I squealed, "Pack a bag! We're going for a trip! I explain later!"

I bolted from the room to make all the arrangements, packed a few things, and last but not least grabbed the ring off the night stand. I didn't want to tell Bella about my vision. She would fight me the entire time, be stubborn, and insist that he didn't love her.

Well, not this time. I'm taking control of this situation and nothing is going to interfere.

AN: they are so close; it won't be much longer now!

Sorry to all of those expecting Edward busting through the door. I just wanted Alice to have her moment, so she could lose the guilt.

Please review! Please..


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Denial**

**BellaPOV**

Stupid, future seeing, "I'm better at lying then Bella" vampire! She tricked me! My own sister. I told her time and time again that when she finally found him, that I wanted no part of it. And here I am sitting on a plane ready to descend into the city of Seattle. I got onto the flight with the assumption that it was a layover to Las Vegas to enjoy some "girl time". Once she had me securely in the air, knowing I couldn't jump out with all these human witnesses, she told me her true intent.

She insists that it was one big misunderstanding; something about Tanya lying to him for years telling him I was dead, and him waiting for me in Forks. Had I not stood in front of him, clearly alive, I may have believed that story.

He made his decision very clear that night in the cemetery. He does not love me. He could not forgive me. I understood. I was the one left rejected holding my heart in my hands waiting for him to take, only to have it crushed beyond repair. I understood. Why couldn't Alice see?

We exited the plane and I waited for the luggage, while Alice secured a rental car. Once I got our bags I walked out to meet her at the curb. I stopped dead in my tracks.

_Alice? Are we trying to draw this much attention to ourselves? Forks is a small town, people_ _will talk_. I said with a sigh. She had rented a bright yellow, two seater Porsche.

"Oh Bella! It's just like the one we drove in on our last vacation together. I simply could not resist!"

_This isn't a vacation, Alice! This is you reuniting with your brother, and me being dragged along, only to sit in the car awkwardly trying to avoid the man I love who hates me! Ugh…let's just go. _I slid into the passenger seat and we headed off to Forks.

"You're wrong you know? I know it. The future keeps getting clearer and clearer" Alice said cheerfully.

As every mile passed and we grew closer to him, my heart ached more. The pain was unbearable. I struggled to keep myself together. How could I face him like this? I would not let him see the effect he still held on me. I would not crumble when I come face to face with him. I am sure Alice will convince him to come back to London with us. The family needed him. And I could not run away. Esme's heart would not be able to handle it. Finally getting her first son back, and then having her youngest daughter abandon the family. I would, like always be strong for the family. No matter how much…Edward, _I may as well get used to hearing that name_…hated me.

Alice spent most of the trip trying to get me to relax. She had a brilliant idea of stopping in the shopping district outside Forks to pick out a 'come hither, my long lost lover' outfit as Alice put it to impress Edward. After I threw all the evening gowns she picked out for me out of the dressing room, she finally aloud me to pick my own outfit. I settled quickly on a slightly off the shoulder navy blue sweater dress, with grey leggings, and ballet flats. This was me; Alice would have to deal with it. Surprisingly she loved my choice.

"We have wasted so much time, I guess your hair will do, let's go get my brother." Alice said full of excitement.

All my annoyance with the shopping trip successfully distracted me from my problems. Now it was time to face reality. We were moments away from the old house. The windows of the car were open and immediately upon reaching the long drive way to our house I was hit with the most intoxicating scent. It was Edward he was really here…

We pulled up in front of the porch, I stepped out to observe, and nothing had changed. It was exactly as I remembered. Alice began to shove me towards the porch insisting that I be the one that greets Edward.

"Bella, it's you he wants to see. Why won't you trust me on this?! The man you love is right through that door. Go get him!" she hissed at me.

_You know exactly why I don't believe it. You were there remember? You saw him lea_—but before I could finish there was a large crash coming from the porch, and before I could react, I was being pinned to the ground by two stone arms.

A deep growl erupted from my attacker's chest, and I responded with my own. I looked up ready for a fight, but my anger instantly changed to that of fear and understanding.

Edward hated me so much that he attacked me. Edward wanted to hurt me? His eyes weren't the warm honey color I remembered. They were black and burning with intensity. I would not try and stop him. I wronged him, and I deserved his vengeance.

I choked out, trying to hide my grief, _I know, I wont stop you, Edward. Just get it over with, no pain could compare to what I've been carrying anyways. _I wanted to tell him how much I loved him that the day in the meadow was my biggest regret, but it would not matter. What's done is done.

His face changed at my words to one of surprise, and the crooked smile I had imprinted in my memories reappeared on his beautiful face. I couldn't handle that! I looked away. That was the face of my Edward, the one who loved me. I couldn't watch that smile turn into a look of disgust and hate. I braced myself waiting for the end, but instead, all I felt was the warmth and aroma of lips being pressed against mine.

**AN: **

**Finally! I told you! Didn't I? You knew they'd find each other. Please review. Please. They make me update quicker for inspiration.**

**Ps. Rereading this chapter, it did feel odd having this shopping trip in the middle, however my thinking was that Alice knew they had time, and she always wants things to be perfect. Also, like I said in an earlier chapter, this story gets so serious and angst filled that I need to toss in some light heartedness once in a while.**

**I hope you enjoy!**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Yours**

**EdwardPOV**

I heard the rumble of an engine, and the rolling of tires on the gravel driveway. This was the first sound I had heard in weeks, other than the sound of rain pelting the windows or birds singing outside. I had made the decision to sit in my old bedroom and wait for her to find me. Surely Alice would see this decision, right? I haven't hunted since leaving Denali, my throat was on fire from the thirst. God help these visitors coming up the driveway if they decide to come inside the house. My resistance to human blood is strong, but having not fed in so long, I am worried about my restraint waning.

I was humming my Bella's lullaby trying to distract myself from the visitors approaching my home. I heard the car come to a halt, a door slam, followed by another. I heard I squeal of excitement, which could only belong to one person. Alice. I focused in on her thoughts; this new development in my powers has taken some getting used to.

_EDWARD ANTHONY CULLEN YOU GET YOURSELF OUT HERE RIGHT NOW! SHE'S HERE! She may be in a little bit of denial, but I got her here, now come work your magic! Oh Bella really—stubborn—listen to reason—get him!_

At first her thoughts were directed to me, but they quickly turned to someone else. She must have been arguing with Bella. She was I could hear them out front. I didn't hesitate. I bolted from my room, down the stairs, and burst through the front door. I looked up and there she was right in front of my eyes. She was a sight for sore eyes, but that was the understatement of the century. I was so elated, I could not stop my self. I leapt off the porch onto her and pinned her beneath me. She was not getting away from me again.

The moment my skin made contact with hers an electric current shot through my body. I was alive again. I was complete. I was with my beautiful Bella finally, after a century of fate pulling us apart, I will never let her go. Now I just need to convince her to forgive me for everything that I have done to her, all the pain I caused her to suffer through alone. But I am so happy in this moment that I could not focus on that. I stared intently down at her beautiful eyes full of confusion, down to her jaw line and trailing to her plump lips. My body yearned to take her close to me and praise her with kisses but before I could think about it she spoke…

"I know, I won't stop you, Edward. Just get it over with, no pain could compare to what I've been carrying anyways." Her voice was pained, and hurt. What the hell was she talking about? She thinks I want to hurt her? I wish I could hear her thoughts! It was then that a miracle occurred, something that I was never able to do before…I could hear what Bella was thinking.

_I wanted to tell him how much I loved him that the day in the meadow was my biggest regret, but it would not matter. What's done is done_.

With those thoughts my heart filled with hope again, and I could not help the smile that stretched across my face. She turned away from me, but I could not control my self any longer. I leaned down to her breathing in her sweet scent. It had changed due to her being a vampire now, but it still held the aroma of wildflowers and freesia stood out the most. I moved in closer, softly at first to not startle her; I pressed my lips to hers. That same shock of electricity shot through me again, but was so much stronger this time. My mind told me to take it slow with Bella, but my body yearned to have her closer. My body ultimately won after that shock of electricity. I deepened the kiss pulling Bella closer to my chest. She was reacting with me, her one hand twisting in my hair, while the other grasped my chest for support. But all of a sudden, she pulled away, moving both her hands to my chest; she just stared at me, then within a split second, sent me flying through the screen door of the house!

"Edward! What the hell do you want with me?!" I picked myself up ready to run to her but she continued, "You cannot keep doing this to me! First you die, which I know you couldn't control that was my fault, but I lost you! Then you come back, you couldn't forgive me so you leave me there alone in the cemetery. Now here you are, about to kill me but instead you kiss me? I just don't understand what I am supposed to feel. I am so tired of not being whole. I cannot take the pain of losing you again, so please just kill me and get it over with, Edward…" that last part spoken in barely a whisper that even a vampire could hear. She collapsed to the ground, her head in her hands, and her body trembling.

What had I done to my sweet Bella, I had put her in so much agony with my selfish choices. I never meant for us to end up like this. She thought I didn't forgive her? Forgive her for what? None of this trouble has ever been her fault, the blame lands on my shoulders alone.

I looked to Alice for help, perhaps some inclination of what I needed to do, but she looked just as dumbfounded as I was by this situation. She looked at me shaking her head, and then started walking away into the house. I tried reading her mind. As she walked by, she touched my shoulder, thinking

_Just tell her how you feel, Edward, _then began reciting the German alphabet as she entered the house. She knew the outcome, but would not share it with me. I needed to fix this on my own.

I stepped closer to Bella quietly, not to alarm her; I mean she thinks I'm going to kill her!

"Bella...I—" but she cut me off.

"No, please no—don't say my name it hurts to much to hear it from your voice—" and she continued to sob. She needed to listen to me! So I spoke quickly, so she could not interrupt. I needed her to understand!

"I've been a fool! You need to understand, I had no idea you were still alive, I thought you died along with me that day in the meadow… I loved you then and I love you now, Bella Swan. I have crawled from the depths of hell to be near you, and now I have you" I pulled her up from the ground then meeting her eyes with mine," I have you now and I am never letting go again. You are my life and the reason for this damned existence! I love yo---"It was her this time that crushed her lips to mine, leaping into my arms, she wrapped her legs around my waste. I was so taken by surprise that we came crashing to the ground, her lips still on mine. She came up for an unneeded breath, and smiled the most breathtaking smile. Oh how I missed that smile.

"Edward, oh my Edward, I love you so much, please let this not be a hallucination, and if it is I never want to wake up from sweet denial." She spoke then kissed me again, "I never should have went for James on my own if I hadn't we—" I placed my fingers to her lips and shook my head. She smiled under my fingers.

I don't know how long we laid there just staring, memorizing every feature, every sparkle in the others eyes. I moved onto my side to get a better view at the goddess before me, but heard something crunch beneath my wait. I sat up, Bella doing the same, and I looked into my jacket pocket. Reaching in, I pulled out a small, crushed, velvet box. I opened it, and grinned. My sister definitely had a future as a pick pocket, I didn't even notice that she placed this here, I was so preoccupied with the situation with Bella.

I looked up into Bella's eyes, if she could cry she would be. I took out the small ring, holding her left hand in mine.

"Bella Swan, our love is an eternal love that not even the end of time could pull apart. You already have my heart, my love, but will you take my hand in marriage, and be mine for all of eternity?"

She smiled up at me and said "I was always yours, Edward, always." I placed the ring on her finger, and there it would stay for eternity, and longer.

**The End**

**AN:**

**So this is it the end of my first FanFic, it was a long journey, and I am so grateful for my loyal readers, who fell in love with this story as much as I did. I don't know if I'm writing an epilogue, I really don't think one is necessary, but if you all request on then perhaps I can oblige.**

**Please please review. Tell me what you think, where I could improve, where I did well, etc.. it helps the creative juices to flow. Especially since I just posted my second story called SERENDIPITY it's different than this one in that everyone is human, and it's a bit humorous. But yea check it out too!**

**Ok, thank you again,**

**MissMaria01**


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